An Open Letter To Domino’s Pizza

Darling Rascals

Dear Domino’s


My name is Abby, I’m a mother of a two year old boy and six month old girl. First off I’d like to say thank you for your ‘Good Choices’ low fat menu. I aspire to one day order something from it.

I’m also a big fan of your pizzas, my son loves your pasta and of course we all love the chocolate lava cakes; on one occasion I was accidentally delivered an extra cake, which nearly provoked a knife fight but was a good lesson in sharing.

Thank you for your prompt delivery, although I doubt there much call for pizzas at 4:30pm. I’d like to apologize for calling the store repeatedly when my pizza takes longer than 7 minutes to arrive. I also want to say sorry for at times forcing delivery personnel to slot the pizza through a cracked door that’s holding back a screaming fugitive toddler. Most of all I’d like to apologize to the driver in the Seabrook area of last Thursday night who knocked on the door just after I had nodded off on the couch after breast feeding my baby.

Sorry for my curt manner, I now understand that you weren’t being rude by avoiding looking at me but that I had forgotten to pull my shirt down. Next time there will be a tip, not a tit.


Warm regards, Abby

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Natural Saffie

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