As I stood choking back tears, watching my second born settle in to his first day of school, another mother looked at me and said, “at least you’ve still got two at home.”
She’s not wrong. I do. But with each change, each chapter that ends, the dynamics of the house change forever. Never again will today be like tomorrow. That phase is over.
And so I mourn. I mourn the days of no routine. Of babies naps. Lazy pj days. Park plays. Adventures. Of doing nothing but being in each other’s company.
I mourn my babies growing up and not needing me as much. Their independence both thrilling and entirely frightening,
I mourn handing over the reigns to a virtual stranger. To letting outside influences in. To not being there for my child every moment of the day, to wipe tears or patch up cuts.
But with each phase that ends, each new milestone that is achieved, I am eternally grateful.
How lucky to be celebrating these amazing achievements. How lucky to have happy and healthy children who have the confidence to go out in the world.
How thankful I am to be celebrating the normal, when there’s been times in my mothering journey when I’ve doubted we’d ever get there. Times we’ve had to work harder to get where we need to be, or put in more than we thought we were capable of.
But we did it! And so while I am sad and pine for the days that have gone, I am so proud of my children who are venturing into a new world without their mumma constantly by their side.
Cherish the days you have with your babes. They end too soon, and while some are so very, very tough, you won’t remember them as you watch your little one, walk in through the school gate, with a uniform two sizes too big, a nervous smile, and a little hand waving goodbye.