Putting myself down, doesn’t feel good

me
Darling Rascals

me

I’ve developed a nasty habit. It’s probably something only I am aware of, but I’ve come to the realisation that it’s got to stop.

I am a serial self deprecator. 

It’s a new thing, and as the words are spewing out of my mouth I instantly feel bad.

It started as a defence mechanism, almost like I was trying to get in and say what I thought others were thinking of me.

I put myself down about my looks. I put myself down about my weight. I make fun of myself in photos (see above) and I sometimes even put myself down about my intelligence.

At the start I think I liked when people laughed at my jokes, but then I realised that it actually made me feel terrible. Was their laughter a confirmation that what I was saying was right? Was I giving them the words that they were thinking? Or had they not even had that thought, until I put it into their head? (Yes I know, a lot of crazy things go through my mind!!)

Either way, it’s not working for me. It’s destroying my self esteem and it’s not giving me the credit I know I deserve.

So I’m stopping now, and if you catch me uttering the words “you won’t see me standing beside her, I’d look like a whale” PLEASE slap me! I’m sure I’ll thank you later.

Do you put yourself down? Put it in writing now, so you can stamp it out for good! We’ll make sure you do! x

Natural Saffie

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