Things I HATE about motherhood

LEGO! Evil stuff!
Darling Rascals

Ok, I’ll admit HATE is a little bit of an exaggeration. REALLY, REALLY DISLIKE might be more accurate.

But let’s be honest, it comes with the territory, when you’re doing a job that never really clocks off, there are going to be things that really tick you off.

I got thinking about it after going to watch Em Rusciano at the Melbourne Comedy Festival.

During her show she mentioned just how hard being a full time stay at home mum can be, and her pet hate…THE PARK!

I think a lot of us feel the same way. Not all of the time, but it can be groundhog day, right?

So here’s my list, hope you can relate along the way!

1. TOILET TRAINING! I bloody well hate teaching my kids to use the toilet. It’s messy and yucky and never goes according to plan. You run out of clean underwear, quicker than you can say POO! You find the dog eating a turd taken by a toddler outside. No matter how many times you thrust a potty under a bottom, you never get the timing right. It’s not fun. For anyone.

Here we go again!

Here we go again!

Natural Saffie

2. MEAL TIMES. Every single one is a battle when you’ve got three kids. Because why would they all want to eat the same thing at the same time? That would make way too much sense, wouldn’t it? Then there’s the coming up with different ideas thing, which more often than not is met with “I don’t want THAT, I want a sausagggggggeeee!” Add to that the fact my children seem to have developed the uncanny knack to get more food on the floor/couch/their ears, than they do in their mouth. Skillz!

I'll use this for everything other than to eat with!

I’ll use this for everything other than to eat with!

3. PLAYING MAKE BELIEVE. I know this should be a fun thing, and it sometimes is. But role-playing, especially with toddlers, never ends well. You’re always not “super-hero” enough, not “funny” enough, “silly” enough, “scary” enough, or “too scary.”! It’s confusing and best left to the professionals!

4. LEGO!!!! Ok, I have a love/hate relationship with the little plastic bricks. I love it when my children play happily for hours with the stuff and don’t require me to help them in any way or form. I HATE it when I am told to build a mini camper-van and “no mum you’re not doing it right, that doesn’t go there, it’s all wrooooooooongggggg” happens. Then there is the bazillion pieces of the plastic that are scattered over the entire house, and we all know how painful it is to step on one, barefooted, in the middle of the night!!

LEGO! Evil stuff!

LEGO! Evil stuff!

5. THE PARK. I’m with Em here. The park is hard work for us mums. Back in the day when I had one child to care for, I loved the park. It was a daily outing and my saving grace. But now, now that I have three children to look after, my god, it has become one of the most stressful things in the world. Someone is always about to jump off something they shouldn’t, hit someone they shouldn’t, or run out of the playground and onto a road! I spend so much time darting my head around trying to keep an eye on all three, that I’ve nearly put my neck out.

You're not swinging me high enough!

You’re not swinging me high enough!

So there you have it, that’s my list, what would make yours?

One Comment on “Things I HATE about motherhood”

  1. Sheree

    Omg I am nodding furiously to them all particularly dinner time with 3 kids, nothing peaceful about it or the park with all 3, headcount anyone, runaway toddler anyone & help me down the slide or push me higher (meanwhile one bolted, argh)! That cartoon for make believe is the best, my 3 yo instructs me what to do/say then promptly has a meltdown bc I do not do exactly as she said? !! Add to that cooking w kids I mean it’s fun but then they dump the flour on the floor, eat all the sugar & insist on stirring but get it all over the place & refuse to let u stir it ? . Shall I even mention craft, it’s gotten me through some wet days but the mess, the glue, the feathers, the cut up bits of scraps…um are we having fun yet!

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