I remember, when I was pregnant with Angus, reading an article about relationships after baby. It said that the 12 months after you give birth will be the toughest you’ll face in your relationship with your partner. I frowned and quickly showed the piece to Mick, who shook his head in disbelief and said “we’d have nothing to worry about.” He was so confident it instantly lifted the worry off my shoulders. But we were in for a shock.
I think our first serious argument on the subject of parenting happened before we’d even left the hospital. A combination of complete shock, and hormones, contributing to what probably would’ve normally been a civilised discussion. And it would be the first of many. Most on the topic of sleep, or lack of. He would ask me “when do you think Angus will wake?”…”why is he awake now?”…”why isn’t he sleeping at all?” I had no answers, but he’d keep asking. It was as if he assumed upon Angus’ birth I was gifted with some wealth of baby knowledge. I wasn’t.
He mourned his old life. I’d already forgotten what it used to be like. He’d moan about being tired, and I’d resent him for being able to “escape” to work. He was jealous that I was Angus’ soul provider. He felt left out. And I’d stay quiet, willing him to take a more active role. Our partnership took a backseat as Angus remained in the drivers. It took some time before we got our groove back.
I’m happy to say we have. And for the majority of the time we agree on most things to do with Angus. But I’m not silly, I know this won’t always be the case.
The truth is, it’s been really tough. Yes we are madly in love, and share this bond of a beautiful child together, but we’ve been tried and tested so many times this year, I think had we not had such a strong bond before, we might not have made it out alive.
We’ve also become different people. We’re not just Mick and Ez anymore, we are parents, we are Mick, Ez and Gus. We are forever changed. And if we don’t roll with the punches, and accept the change, we’ll get left behind.
11 years together, 2 of them as a married couple, 1 as parents. We’ve come a long way baby.